What should I do?

by Trish
(Australia)

Been married for 25 years. Within the first 6 months of marriage, my husband told me he was in love with one of my friends.


During our married life, I have never felt good enough, even though I relocated with him for work, in which he began a relationship with another woman while we were living in another country and I looked after 4 children. He has always had a porn addiction, which I have asked him countless times to get help for. I was even willing to go to marriage counselling with him. He tried online counselling but soon became distracted again and commenced hiding material from me. When we get into arguments, I'm the one who always ends up crying and apologizing . He tells me to get over it and to stop nagging. Now I have.

I'm at the stage where I recently asked him for a divorce. He said I wasn't serious. I even stated I didn't want anything from him. Just to leave so I can start my life afresh. I don't care what he watched or does anymore and can honestly say that the years of feeling belittled, have left me feeling absolutely nothing for him.

Comments for What should I do?

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 01, 2024
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Drawing A Line
by: Eugene Kayser LMFT

Hi Trish. Obviously your husband has a problem and can only be helped if he sees a professional. Which it looks like he has already refused. As a therapist, I don’t like to recommend threatening divorce, but as it is with many addictions, people need to see that there are real consequences to their actions before they seek help.
So, I suggest that you make him understand that you are drawing a line.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

Eugene Kayser Marriage Therapist

Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.

For a free 20 minute consultation, Call or Text:

(215) 813-8633
"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.