A Good Marriage Counselor
Can Help You
Save Your Marriage

You know something is wrong in your relationship. You're fighting all the time. Sometimes viciously, calling each other names. Something about your spouse has changed. You are not emotionally and physically intimate with each other. But you don't know what to do.

Let me help you assess what’s wrong and what’s right in your relationship with an online evaluation by the Gottman Institute, based on their 40 years of research. Then we can give you some useful marriage strategies and tools, and a safe place to work out your problems.

What Makes A Good Marriage Counselor?

I've worked hard to become a good marriage counselor. But after years of post-graduate trainings and seminars on marriage therapy, it seemed like there were a lot of couples that couldn’t be helped. So I kept looking.

Then I came across the work of Dr. John Gottman, and I’ve been using the Gottman Method Couples Therapy now for a numner of years. It is the most effective marriage therapy system I know, and it works.

What's The Gottman Couples Method?

Dr. John Gottman spent 40 years studying couples in his “Love Lab” in Seattle. He filmed them talking and fighting, measured pulse and breathing rates, and took blood samples to measure neurochemicals that are produced under stress. He got to the point that he could predict which couples would stay married with an accuracy of 94%.

Out of all this research, he and Julie Gottman developed a therapy system that starts with a thorough assessment to see where a couple's strengths and weaknesses are, and a toolkit of  techniques that can change how you interact with each other.

The Four Marriage Poisons

Gottman found four factors couples had that could lead to the destruction of a marriage if they are not corrected. He called them

 The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

Contempt, Defensiveness, Criticism, and Stonewalling.

And he came up with four antidotes to these marriage poisons:

Complaint instead of Criticism, which is a hurtful attack on the very character and personality of the other person. And you can identify it because it will begin the sentence with the word "YOU". Try to speak from an "I" position.

Appreciation instead of Contempt, which often accompanies criticism with yelling, cursing, sneering and a frightening tone of voice. Try to find positive traits in your partner.

Taking Responsibility instead of Defensiveness, which is denying things that are said and turning them back on to the listener. Instead, admit to complaints that are actually true.

Self-soothing instead of Stonewalling, which is refusing to accept the reality of an issue, and saying "nothing to see here". Find a way, such as Mindful Meditation, to calm your mind and body.

Gottman built a successful couples therapy method that detoxifies these poisons, and let's you reconnect.

Let me help you stay married

and improve your relationship.

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