The damage of the ego and sloppy boundaries

by Ben
(CA)

I have just come out of the most bizarre and damaging psychotherapy experience.

So in love with running their own solo show accountable to no one, the therapist didn't know if they wanted to be a relaxed cool friend or hip wanna-be rock star hippie; a paternal figure or flirty intimate role model. Either way I was paying to be the client but often spent time counseling and supervising them, and having to manage how they felt and their self-indulgent moods.

They constantly mixed and blurred personal with private and was very inconstant all along. They made me feel violated and guilted me into decisions, lied so many times in reports about details and selected truths and changed stories and even tried to hide evidence of dodgy activity. They were never clear or quite upfront with payment arrangements and qualifications.

There was evidence left around of alcohol and even pot smoking. They were recently reported to the ethics and health board for unethical and illegal practice. Ironically they didn't see what the big deal was as no one else challenged the operations. No doubt they'll get a slap on the wrist and momentary inconvenience and be on their merry way. They will move on and forget their accountability and not look back once as to the consequence of their actions.

They will no doubt continue to deceive in supervision and not address the lack of self-reflection, skills and training. There will be no apology or no consideration of the hurt, rejection, impact and pain and re-trauma they have left in their wake and for future clients at risk.

The client is the one who pays and who will pay long after the therapist has moved onto the next vulnerable person.