Sleeping with the enemy?!.......

by Texas LoneStar
(Killeen, Texas)

I met my husband almost six years ago. We met on MySpace, but only became friends at first. Only after 3 months of dating, we decided to get married. Within the first year of marriage we had our first child, who is 4 now. I had a son from a previous relationship; needless to say our relationship moved fast.

Over the course of our marriage, he has made me feel like I was not the only woman of interest in his life. He had many female friends, texting and late night talks with them. In addition, I found phone records when he was calling his
ex-girlfriend.

He has an issue with porn. So sometimes when the lights are on, its hard for him to stay aroused with me. The close relations with other girls kept on going and going and going, but he kept telling me they were all just his close friends and he is a social person.

However I found out this year, Jan 2013, that when he was away for business he had a sexual relationship (one time, he says) with one female and he had an emotional relationship with another. These women were other women that he started to become "close" to just like all his other so called female friends. He had denied these two situations for the longest, but I kept finding out things and asking questions. It took me telling him that I was going to get a STD test that pushed him to finally open up.

I look in the mirror sometimes, and I don't know who the reflection is anymore. I am in nursing school, trying to make a better life for my kids but it feels like I am sleeping with the enemy.

Is this an emotionally abusive relationship?

Dear Lone Star... It doesn't sound like abuse is the issue as much as the possibility your husband has some sexual addiction. When you add up the porn, numerous liaisons emotional and physical, and some sexual problems with you, I would suggest you both seek couples counseling. This situation doesn't make for a sound marriage.

Aladdin