Should I stay married????

by Anonymous

Long story shortened. . . I've been married for 10 1/2 yrs and have 4 kids with him. We have had a horrible marriage. Abuse of all sorts, separated more than together, infidelity and everything else.


I have filed for divorce for the second time and our divorce will be final in less than three months, and out of nowhere he has come to me asking for counseling and to not go through with it.

We didn't even speak for the first 8 months of the divorce process, and I have a boyfriend that I've been seeing for 6 months.

I do not know what the right choice is to make. . .
Please help!!!!

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Oct 09, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Be happy
by: Anonymous

You are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I was as brave as you.
Jan 16, 2013
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starstarstarstarstar 		Be Confident
by: FiFi

Hi, all I can say is you deserve so much better!! You seem to be hanging on to what HE wants and quite frankly, I get it cause of your kids. But guess what: life is not easy so move on. I am, and although i don't have kids, I didn't have them to keep someone (go figure, severe lack of self-esteem ).

Stay in touch, otherwise be brave. YOU ARE WORTH it, don't feel bad. I never thought I would have to post on a website either x
Jun 11, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Stop second guessing yourself
by: Anonymous

Ive been doing a soul searching myself - it is called "relationship ambivalence" and what it means is you fight with your inner self to go or to stay.

At this point he is guilting you. He didn't talk to you for the first eight months? That probably means he was occupied with another relationship and that it didn't work out - so now he wants you back.

You have a new boyfriend. This is the SECOND TIME you have filed for divorce, think back on that - how many times could you have kicked yourself for not having went thru with it the first time?

Stop feeling guilty for dumping him and guilty that he wants to get back together and you don't. Stop wasting your precious time on him, even if things don't work out with current boyfriend, it would be better to be alone than with someone you don't want to be with.

You are NOT and/or NO LONGER responsible for his happiness or LACK OF. Worry about making yourself happy and stop babysitting his feelings. Hope this helps. Jeez... maybe I need to take my own advice :)

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
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