Needing advice of husband with insomnia
by Deanna
(Park city, utah)
My husband and I have been together for 4.5 years.. His insomnia started about 10 months into the relationship. This caused him be very depressed, not hold a steady job, not be able to have an Intimate relationship. We miraculously have a son who is now 2 years old.
It’s been very difficult for me to be a mother, be a wife that he needs, work full time, and try to have some sanity for myself. My husband has always been great about asking me how I’m feeling and trying to support me in any way he could. He’s offered me an “out”, but I always wanted to stand by him and make it work since he didn’t ask for this to happen to him and he’s a good person.
Last year, I quit my job, left our dog, car and belongings behind to go to Brazil, which is where his family is. He felt like he needed the support of his family during this hard time for him. I agreed and we spent 3 months with my family and 3 months in Brazil with his family. We moved back to UT where we were before hoping everything we be better after this “life break” we took of having our parents supporting us for 6 months.
It has only gotten worse. We argue at least weekly. My argument is that he wants everything to go exactly his way and that’s why we’re not improving. When I tell him I am stressed or complain, he says I have no reason to complain because I am not the one dealing with insomnia. I feel as though my stress is valid too. He wants to go back to Brazil again because I am not creating an environment for him to heal. We are now in a dilemma of what to do with our son and he feels as though I am guilty for the entire family separating.
Is he right or am I valid in my feelings too? I'm open to hearing anything. Thank you in advance!
Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.
For a free 20 minute consultation, Call or Text:
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.
Visit The Relationship Forum to get and give advice on your relationship issues.
If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.
