My mind is in a muddle...
by FamilyLife
(England)
My family has a good life, and I'm afraid I am about to mess it up for everyone.
Hubby and I have been together 12 years, married 8, with 2 BEAUTIFUL girls (5 and 2). Both girls are confident and happy. Hubby and I work full time.
Up until 6 months ago I juggled school drop offs, work and house chores (supper, bath-time, bedtime). I did not begrudge this, but I was tired! I then got another job due to big pay increase (we were struggling financially), and hubby had to take on more as I work longer hours and travel further. I'm excelling at new job and still very focused on my girls. Financially we are in a much better place.
Hubby and I don't fight... We just pass each other by. My focus is work and kids, his focus is.... Not entirely sure.
Sexually we have not had much passion. I thought that was because I'm on anti-depressants, but I'm starting to realize that actually I am just numb toward him. I have sex with him because I know he needs that, but I drag it out as long as possible because I hate the routine of it. Should I mention I'm 30? I feel like I should feel more, WANT to be with him and touch him. He is very good looking, but I feel no connection.
I've told him this, he got upset and says if I leave he will lose everything cause he loves me, and I don't doubt that he loves me... But I need and want more. Maybe not now, but one day! My fear is I will meet someone who I connect with, and would never cheat! So rather get out whilst it's amicable and because I really feel nothing, rather than wait for that to happen, and cause bad feelings.
Sounds clear cut, right? Problem is, am I nuts? We might pass each other by, but we don't fight. Kids are happy, we are 'content'. Should I be messing that up just because I feel like there should be more in a relationship. Do I grit my teeth and bare it?
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You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
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