My marriage has failed..I want out but he's thinking we can fix it
by Anonymous
(Ontario)
I've been married for 23 years, together since I was 16. Married at 20, a year after my dad died.
Our first year was hard, getting to deal with his lack of motivation..snoring..abusive abrupt trying to get him up to go to work..that was 20 sum years of that..it wasn't till a doctor said you need help after a surgery that his snoring was extremely loud.
I had my first daughter at 22. he was an ass just because he was tired. I went through all of the pain hours of back pain until my water broke he finally got up. he worked nights. I raised her my girls I have 2... I had back pains extra due to gall bladder problems. he just never was there for me... I tried later, after my second, to talk to him. I felt trapped. he reminded me he made the big money I had know where's to go.
I tried to make the best of every thing.. got a degree in ssw while coaching, raising my daughters, worked around his hours to save money an be there for my girls.. Ive always been disliked by his family. they talk trash about me but I ignored to insure the girls had family.
After my dad died I took care of my brothers and mom and sister, tried to keep a roof over their home.. later oldest bro was diagnosed schizophrenia and the beginning of helping him.. then 12 years ago my youngest brother died and I took on a 10 year law suit with no support from home.
At all times I still focused on my home, paying bills, working, kids sports, meals .. we have had finance issues on and off. Talking about our problem never happened. he'd yell at me.. resent
he has tried to be a husband but I've been over it a long time ago.. I've had many medical problems with little support. I grew one way, he stayed the same. I always tried hand-holding, kissing, good morning or bye, but it was me who did it.. I always wanted to go out but he didn't.. I tried being interested in his things, fishing.xbox.motorcycle.stuff like that but I gave up. I hated all of that and camping, hate camping. I love walks, runs, gym, skating, soccer, hikes..
I want us to be friends. I want to move on... how do I help him to understand?
Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.
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You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
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