Is he not attracted to me anymore?
by Courtney
(Canada)
So... I have been married for 6 years and in a relationship totaling 11 years with my husband. Intimacy over the last few years has become awkward I have noticed, and less and less frequent as I would like. I find that I am the instigator 100 percent of the time.
He has mentioned several times along the way that he doesn't have a very high sex drive and I can believe that due to our history... however for me i guess its more important. Today I went through his internet browsing history and found several dates over the last month that he has been looking at porn. I feel i trust him and know him well enough to know that this is a new thing.
I am not against it at all however i noticed he looked at it last night prior to us having sex and i am feeling gutted. I feel insecure, embarrassed, ashamed of myself... and although i didn't want to have the conversation with him today we vaguely got into it briefly before i cut him off. He told me he has been looking at it to basically "feel something".
I am 34 and he is 39... reality is i feel betrayed and that he is hiding things from me on top of feeling humiliated with myself that I can't make my husband "feel something". I have so much going through my head at the moment.. i know i am not going to sleep tonight.
I have already made a home in my spare bedroom. I am unsure and scared as to whether I can recover from this? How am I ever going to be able to be intimate with him again knowing that I am not good enough. Am I supposed to get plastic surgery? Am i supposed to join the gym and hibernate from him until I look like I am 25 again? I need help... :(
Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.
For a free 20 minute consultation, Call or Text:
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.
Visit The Relationship Forum to get and give advice on your relationship issues.
If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.
