How do I show my husband that I'm smart?
by Aubrey
(New York)
I have an MA in the humanities and am the editor of a publication. My husband has a BA in the sciences and does environmental work. Not surprisingly, he makes more money than I do. I believe that I should be paid closer to what he gets paid because I think our jobs are equally challenging and are an equal amount of work. He says that I do not deserve to be paid more money because my job does not require intelligence. His argument is that a smart person could get information across in a outline; therefore, someone who takes the time to write out an article is unintelligent -- wordy out of stupidity. The disagreement over pay isn't the problem. I didn't go into my field out of any delusions of grandeur. The problem is that I don't know how to show him that I have value when he doesn't see value in the areas where I excel. What should I do?
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You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
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