Finding wife unattractive
by anonymous
HI,I just turned 26 and got married 5 months ago (we dated for 4 years). All of a sudden three months ago, I started noticing that my amazing wife who I freakin love and thought was my angel. Has imperfections. I noticed that she has chubby cheeks which are completely genetic ( her body is thin) and I noticed she has a soft jawline. Now I can’t stop noticing. I am literally collapsing and nervous and frantic because I am so scared that this feeling will never go away and that I will have to get a divorce.
I love my wife more than anything. I had slight doubts about her cheeks before about two years ago (I panicked for 3 weeks and it went away). This time it isn’t going away. I am over analyzing everything and Quite frankly I can not Stop. She is my best friend and I love her so much. All I want is to get over This.
I can’t take it. I feel like such garbage too Because she is an absolute angel. I have no idea what happened to me. I used to think she was so cute and now. All I’m doing is emphasizing her imperfections. I keep noticing that other girls have thin faces etc and it’s just a constant struggle. I have so much anxiety guilt and shame I’m so unhappy. All I want is to be able to forget this whole thing happened and go back to how we were before where I wasn’t analyzing.
Can someone please give me advice please. Am I allowed to find my spouse unattractive sometimes? Am I allowed to just let it go and move on or am I hopeless . The sad part is I’ve always thought she was so pretty. Now I’m noticing these cheeks/jawlines which i guess I’ve always subconsciously ignored. And now it’s just all I think about. I see them And go ohh well she isn’t pretty then etc . I’m sabotaging myself .I’m so confused and feel so hopeless. Please advise me if anyone has felt like this . Thank you. And yes I know I’m being shallow! And I know I don’t deserve my wife.
Just so scared what if it never goes away. What if I get over it and it goes back. I’m ruining my life and I’m gonna ruin hers. It’s just awful it’s truly awful.
Please help
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You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
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