Feels like I am being emotionally bullied by wife
by Louis
(Sout Africa)
Hi, my wife and I have been married now for 6 years. She has some emotional or perhaps mental issues bordering on bipolar. I sort of knew this before we got married and thought that I would be able to help and make her a better person.
Our sex lives have crashed. She is never interested in sex anymore and shows me no love or affection. She always complains that she is tired or has a headache or makes up some sort of other excuse. But then she always has strength and energy to go shopping, or to the gym or to go and play golf. We have pets and she showers them with attention and affection.
Further to this she does not have to work, something which we agreed upon together as she is a hairdresser and at 50 she does not want to stand on her feet the whole day. Now she is complaining that she is depressed because she feels worthless for not having a job. When I try to talk to her she get angry and starts screaming and crying and would at times even attack me physically.
I still love her and don't really want to divorce her but I cannot see myself continuing like this for much longer. This both our second marriage and we both have a son and daughter from our first marriages who are all out of the house now. Her kids are priority to her and she jumps at any of their slightest silly requests but I must beg her to show me some of the same love and affection that I give her not to mention asking her to initiate making love to me.
I'm confused and hurt as talking to her seems useless now as I know that she would start yelling and crying and putting the blame on her emotional and mental issues. Please some concrete and logical advise would be appreciated
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You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
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