boyfriend broke up with me
by jill
(canada)
I left my marriage of 12 years and started dating my boyfriend shortly after. He treated me so good, something I wasn't use to as my husband was emotionally unavailable. My boyfriend had been separated for 5 years and himself just got out of a one year relationship with a girl who he said tried to drive him and his son apart. I have heard he left his wife and son high and dry and he basically left his last relationship without closure. He told me he wanted to be with me forever.
We were together just over a year and I could feel him starting to pull away from me. He said I made him feel guilty for spending time with his son. His last girlfriend didn't get along with his son, and his son didn't want to see him. I think maybe he came into our relationship with his back up.
His family has said they have seen a huge improvement in him the last year, he wasn't drinking or smoking anymore. I have heard from his friends that he has a lot of internal demons to work through, likely his guilt for the way he left his son and wife. I am just so confused as his son loved my kids and got along with me quite well. He broke up with me because he has to focus on his son he says. I offered to let him do that and not see him as much and he said no. He asked for a break 5 weeks before our final break up. I called him every few days for the first couple of weeks and he said he needed time to see if there was anything left for our relationship.
Finally after 2 weeks of no contact I called and he said he didn't feel the same love for me anymore and we should break up. I asked if he would be okay never seeing me again as we shared a lot of emotional history together. He said that he hoped once the dust settles we can have coffee and be a support to one another. I asked him if later down the road when we worked out our own issues if there was a chance. He said he didn't know what the future will hold.
I'm at a total loss as he knew we had a great thing but he just built up a wall and wasn't willing to work things through.
Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.
For a free 20 minute consultation, Call or Text:
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.
Visit The Relationship Forum to get and give advice on your relationship issues.
If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.
