Am I doing the right thing
by Darren G
(Leeds)
I have 3 children under 3 and under with my wife. I have been 100% faithful, but my wife had a fling on her hen do, an actually went to meet, stay over night 2 days before we got married.
I found a text on her phone, 30 mins after the speeches. I sucked it up and didn't put on a show. Went on our honeymoon the next day and broke down the moment I got into the hotel room. We spent 2 weeks doing the whys and wherefores. I decided to move out when we got back, took us 2 months to work shit out and we decided to give it another go.
5 years, 3 kids and 2 mortgages later I get a message from a random women telling me, my wife was having an affair with her husband.... I felt physically sick, numb in fact. She pleaded innocence. She actually paid 600 quid for a private lie detector to prove it. Turns out she didn't have any sexually contact other than swapping pictures. However she had agreed to meet the following week, when I was away with work.
Not going to bore you with anymore detail, but I love my kids and I don't want to live without them, but we're now 9 months on and i've been using drugs to numb my pain, it's not a problem, but it's getting more frequent. Without any doubt, this hasn't effected my kids,
Yet.... But I just don't know what to do next, I'm embarrassed to tell anyone, everyone called me a fool for taking her back the first time.... I feel so isolated, she is doing all she can to prove she regrets what she's done. But I don't care anymore.... I just want to get out, but how do I leave the kids behind.... My dad left when I was 13, I don't want to do that to mine....
I suppose what I'm asking, am I doing the right thing? Am if I'm not what do I do? I'm lost
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You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship. You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before. You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along. Thanks so much for helping us." Rita and Mark |
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